Top Tips For Parents This Christmas

[Connections in Mind]

Hear from our parenting experts at Connected Minds Parenting

Top Tips for Parents This Christmas

The Christmas period is an exciting time in the yearly calendar but also can be quite challenging for families in ways that can seem unexpected. Everyone has high expectations and things don’t always go to plan. Executive functioning skills are variable in everyone but sensitive to the context. Everyone is better able to manage their behaviour and emotions when they are rested and in familiar  calm surroundings. While Christmas is a wonderful time, it often strips us of these very things, making managing our executive function skills much harder for us and our children.

There are so many tips we’d like to share that we think will help make Christmas a more enjoyable time for everyone but rather than overwhelm you we have chose the 4 top tips taken from our Connected Minds 6 week parenting course.
Manage your expectations and remember their brains are not yet fully developed.

Evolution has  given humans one of the longest periods of brain development among all species and the Executive Functioning skills are the last set of skills to develop in the human brain.

Even though older children look like grown ups, their brains can’t yet work quite as efficiently as ours. They will get things wrong and need their parents alongside them as they learn how to manage their lives, their emotions and their behaviour. Don't assume every behaviour is intentional and this will help you manage your own frustrations towards your children.

Try to remember to respond not react when things go wrong.

Children of all ages will likely be grumpy, difficult, irritable or sad at some point over the holiday period. With big negative emotions often comes big negative behaviours. They are still learning what their emotions are and how to manage them. Reacting and getting angry yourself only makes the situation worse and doesn’t help them to calm down. A considered response is always a better option. In the moment, stay calm, make sure your child is safe, stay with them and if you can't take some time out for you.  Find a time to discuss what happened later on when everyone is calm. Listen to what they have to say and come up with a strategy for how you all might deal with that situation if it arises again. Never make them feel ashamed in front of the wider family or guests.

Plan ahead for success.

We often assume children understand the concept of time much better than they do. We tell them something is happening in an hour or a weeks time, but they don’t yet have a good concept of time. One really helpful EF strategy you can use is to make a family planner and put it on the wall. Mark on it all the family events and commitments. If you do this with them, they can mark in the things they are really looking forward to and you can remind them that there will be things they may not enjoy so much (e.g. the dreaded holiday homework). Expectations are important and this will give them a chance to get ready for all the excitement to come and to manage the challenges.

Have technology free time for all the family.

iPads, iPhones and video games are here to stay but they can be the cause of many family rows and get in-between the parent-child relationship. You, the parent, are in charge of how your child and family use technology. Have clear rules with restrictions such as not having technology at the dinner table, at certain family times or late at night. Understand that these rules need to apply to everyone in the family, including you! Particularly be aware of your own phone use. If you are digitally distracted your child will experience you as not being available for them and you may see their hurt expressed in their behaviour. It is difficult to convince children to follow your rules if you don't follow them yourself.

Above all, we hope you have a lovely time together with your families. Of course, the one thing we think you should give yourself in 2019 is the chance to come to our 6 week parenting course. Below are some direct quotes from parents who have attended. We really think it is worth it! Read more on our website below or email sophie at connectionsinmind.co.uk.

Wishing you the best for a fabulous 2019

“Thanks for such a stimulating, enlightening and practical course. I feel newly armed to deal with some of the challenges parenting presents. I just wish I'd done it sooner! “


“After learning in detail about how his EF weaknesses impact my son's life, I can help him much more and feel better equipped. We can work on strategies and I am much more understanding and patient. I thoroughly recommend this course for parents!”



Read more on the website (https://connectionsinmind.us15.list-manage.com/track/click?u=051e2f4c50f08982c74d45292&id=85b7b64ea3&e=2f6569d631)

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